I Knew It!

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/05/27/AR2009052703627.html?wpisrc=newsletter

Well, people, I just knew it, but now it's officially confirmed. The DMV wants to drain the life force out of you. Just read an article in the Washington Post today; in the Virginia DMVs, they are now saying you can not smile in your license photos. And if you dare smile, they retake the photo, virtually beating you into submission until you lose all hope and stop smiling. Yeah, yeah, I know, it's for a reason. They're going to start using facial recognition software, and I guess it's easier to compare faces when you're not smiling, I guess because most terrorists aren't smiling when committing their acts of terror or whatever. Now, I worked a few years in biometrics, and I remember no such anti-smile rule. Personally, I think the DMV just wants to take any last bit of happiness you might have (if you've managed to keep it after waiting with the dregs of society in a big smelly room for 2 hours) and SMACK IT the hell out of you.

Over the River and Thru the Woods

To Grandmom's house we went! On Memorial Day, that is. Jared is traveling again, so the kiddies and I headed down to my parents' for Memorial Day. We met up with John and Remi and their kids and Matt and Jenny and their kids, and everyone had a blast. The kids couldn't have been happier, playing all day in the sun with their cousins. And the water was nice and warm, so the kids got to play in the water for a couple of hours before the rain started (and stayed - still raining - at least I won't have to water the lawn!). It was a lot of fun, and the kids were angels the whole time. Well, as long as you don't count Ellie's not-so-spectacular performance in the potty training area. But aside from some unwanted bodily waste (and hey, who doesn't have a little unwanted bodily waste from time to time), a glorious Memorial Day all around!

Jane, Ellie, and Jack, very interested in their juice boxes

Craig, Brooke, Sophie, and Helen, again with the juice boxes - what magical elixir was in those stinkin' juice boxes?

Yummy, yummy food

Ellie and her cousin Sophie

Boys and Girls

Well, the boys went away last weekend for a Fathers/Sons campout, while Ellie and I did some girl bonding. I was actually kind of worried about it - secretly I always worry that I bore my poor children to death since I'm so, well, boring - but it was actually a blast. After the boys headed out, Ellie and I went to the store so she could pick out her favorite treats. She chose some cupcakes and a My Little Pony balloon. She was so cute with that balloon - she's lost quite a few balloons to the wild blue yonder, so she clutched to that balloon (not the string, the actual balloon) like it was her life line, and muttered to herself "don't fy away, don't fy away, don't fy away" the whole way through the store and through the parking lot. After a nice, RELAXING dinner (a certain little boy usually makes dinner quite loud), we took a bubble bath (Ellie insisted that I pretend to be a mermaid) and watched a Holly Hobbie movie while eating s'mores. We had a sleepover, and slept in 'til like 8. We had some more plans for the morning, but the boys actually came home early, so it was a short but fun girls' night.

And yes, the boys had fun, too. Jared only managed to snap a couple of photos before the camera battery died. But Jack says that they got to eat hot dogs and s'mores and to play with all their friends.

How cool is that!

Check out this site - http://lunchbagart.tumblr.com/ - apparently, every day during his lunch break, this guy decorates a lunch bag for his kids. How cool is that! My boring dad totally did not decorate my lunch bags with cool-ass cartoons! I believe his Father's Day gift this year may reflect that deficiency.

It Could Be Worse....

He could actually be using those pom-poms to do girly cheers

Our boy sure does love hats. It's usually charming, but I have to admit selfishly that sometimes, e.g., when he insists on wearing his winter hat to the store in May, I'm a little worried that he might look, kind of, um, odd.

Of course, Ellie just noticed me posting a picture of Jack, and insisted that I "take picture me! take picture me!" Here you go, sista.

If you have any poo, throw it now

What separates the Sorensons from the beasts? Apparently a DVD player. Why? Because I had to spend an hour in the car with my kids last night without one, and it was chaos. Bedlam. Anarchy. Mutiny. HELL, people. We had to drop the family car off at the repair shop, and drove my car (sans DVD player) home. The first five minutes was charming, with the kids cheerfully singing along to my groovy tunes. Then, sometime between Mile 5 and my complete mental breakdown, it all went terribly wrong. It was like monkeys at the zoo, I tell you. I'm just surprised they weren't flinging their poo. Jack kept wiggling out of his booster seat, Ellie was tossing items of clothing around the car, and I was screaming empty threats toward the general area of the backseat. So much for civilization in the Sorenson household. Turns out I'm just one DVD player away from "Lord of the Flies."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgUwpb3I98M&feature=related

Happy Mother's Day to Me

Thanks to all the family in Richmond, who helped us have a great Mother's Day weekend! My sister Jeanene had mentioned she was having some folks over for Mother's Day, and since I knew Dear Jared hadn't planned anything for the day (really, a card would have been too difficult?), I decided to invite ourselves down there for dinner and to make a weekend of it. So after Jack's soccer game on Saturday, we drove on down there, enjoyed a little swimming in the hotel pool, and had dinner at brother Ben and his wife Kim's place. They were wonderful hosts, and our kids and theirs played great together. After a surprisingly uneventful night in the hotel (our normal hotel stays are the stuff of which nightmares are made), we managed to make it to Jeanene's congregation for church. They had a great Mother's Day program, and even had cake for the moms in Relief Society - I'm ALL about that! - and our kids went without complaint to their cousins' Sunday School classes and had a great time. After a wonderful dinner at Jeanene's that evening, we headed on home. Although the night ended with an hour straight of Ellie Screaming (I'm going to record that sound on CD and sell it as torture device), overall, we had a great, relaxing weekend. And isn't that what we want for Mother's Day?

Exhibit 2 in my Caveman Trial

OK, we have yet another example of why I'm a caveman. If you know me, you know that I read voraciously - a book every couple days usually. (Don't be too impressed - I don't read much Tolstoy or Steinbeck - these are usually mysteries, chick lit, or Oprah Club-type books.) And the hubby isn't the biggest fan of the mountains of books that liter our guest room, storage closet, and nightstand. So the perfect solution would be the Kindle, right? There's the original, smaller one, and the new DX, which has a larger screen. Perfect, right?

But I just can't bring myself to do it. There's something just so ... wonderful and peaceful and Zen-like to pick up that book and crack the spine (yes, I crack the spine, get over it), and feel the wonderful feel of the new pages on my fingers, and to see the artwork that the author chose, and the font, and just get INTO the book. I just don't think I could get into reading my books on the Kindle. It's just so dang BORING. And then I don't have the wonderful display of towers of books strewn about the house - where's the fun in that?!?

So, I'm sorry, chalk another up to my caveman-itude. I just can't do it.

Angels and Demons

Yeah, no, I'm not talking about Tom Hanks's new movie. Talkin' about my offspring. Yesterday was such a contrast of angelic behavior and demon-seed criminal behavior. Jack's preschool class had their Mother's Day "tea" (not sure why they called it that, since we drank lemonade and ate crackers, grapes, and cheese, but hey). He was so sweet the whole time - he went and got me a plate of food, and insisted that we bring some grapes home with us because his sister Ellie likes grapes. He even gave me big hugs throughout the activity (I'll always take good PR). Ellie, similarly, was angelic AROUND OTHER PEOPLE. We played outside for a while with the neighborhood kids, and Ellie was lovingly hugging all her pals and offering her toys to them. Awwww, sweet. Then we went inside. And they proceeded to morph into evil little spawn. Jack ran around the house calling everyone and everything "poopy" (he thinks that's hi-lar-i-ous). Even played in the toilet, which he hasn't done in eons. Ellie, while I was sitting on the floor TRYING to play blocks with her, decided it'd be a laugh riot to bounce blocks off my head. Which she did for about 15 minutes straight despite my gentle reminders, which led into frustrated exclamations, which led into exasperated ultimatums, and finally into meaningless threats. Then there was the fighting, whining, and throwing of various objects (play dough, crayons, food) ........ Then of course Jared walked in from work, and poof, they morphed back into the Brady Bunch kids again and ran toward him gleefully in a most photographic manner.

Well, I guess I should be glad it's not the other way around -

A Phrase One Should Never Have To Say:

"No, Ellie, we do NOT put cheese down our pants"