Nighty Night Lullaby

I think I'll sing this to my kiddies tonight to lull them into a peaceful slumber

I Would Totally Buy That

OK, so the website ThinkGeek.com posted, as an April Fool's Joke, a (fake) new product - the Tauntaun sleeping bag. Remember Star Wars (Episode 5, which us oldies think of as the Empire Strikes Back), where Han Solo finds Luke Skywalker almost frozen to death, and slashes open the Tauntaun (horsey-type thing) and stuffs Luke into the steaming flesh to warm him up? So I give you...the Tauntaun sleeping bag!
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/plush/bb2e/?pfm=Carousel_Tauntaun_2

If they ever really make this, I would SO totally buy it! It's just so awesomely disgusting!

Please note the realistic Tauntaun fur

...And then open up to sleep cozily inside, with the printed intestines pattern!

Merry Christmas!!

Hope you all have a very merry Christmas! Us, after a lot of running around this season (and a lot of traveling on Jared's part), we've been enjoying some R&R at home. On Christmas Eve, we spent much of the day prepping our dinner - this is, believe it or not, the first time we've done a start-to-finish-completely-on-our-own turkey dinner. To break up the day, we took the kids to see "Alvin & the Chipmunks." After going to a local church's Christmas Eve service, we came home and had our yummy dinner - turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, green beans, corn pudding, and the famous Sorenson orange rolls (of which I could literally eat 2 dozen - but thankfully I showed some discretion). After some pumpkin pie and various items of a chocolate origin, we sent the kiddies off to bed to get ready for Santa's arrival. On the whole a great day, well, unless you count the fact that we chose this week to potty train Ellie (good news - no #1 accidents; bad news - LOTS of #2 accidents, which have been truly nightmare- and nausea-inducing).

And as for Christmas Day? Well, after opening far too many toys, I was hoping the kids would play the day away so Jared and I could veg out, stuff ourselves with leftovers, and watch old Christmas movies. But well, I guess 4- and 2-year-olds aren't so good at playing quietly by themselves all day. :-) So the day was a bit less relaxing than planned, but hey, we were all together, and that's what matters. Hope everyone had a great Christmas!

Jack and Ellie insisted on immediately wearing the tops they got from Grandma and Grandpa

I present to you - the famous Sorenson orange rolls - fluffy, melt-in-your-mouth yumminess

And for Christmas morning? The Sorenson Christmas tree cinnamon rolls - again, I say, yummy

Jack was the first to discover Santa's visit

Jack's favorite present? Scooby Doo and the gang and their mystery machine. Ellie's favorite is a toss-up between her new Barbies and her Strawberry Shortcake

There's nothing like a little post-breakfast pumpkin pie!

Now, THAT'S how you do a snow day

(Leave it to Daddy to show the kids how you do a real snow day - hint - it involves lots of sledding, snow forts, and more cookies than Mom would usually allow)

Alive!!!!

Do you ever remember watching news accounts of the end of long-term hostage events? You see the hostages being led out of the building, bleary-eyed and dazed, their eyes squinty from facing the first natural light they've seen in days or months, and a mixture of joy and confusion on their poor, too-thin faces? Well, except for the too-thin part, that's pretty much me, as we come out of our two-day house arrest following our snow storm.

As most of you know, we don't get a whole lot of snow back here. So when almost 2 feet dumps on us in 1 day, it pretty much paralyzes us. And our airports, meaning that Jared wasn't able to get back as planned. So, Saturday and Sunday, the kids and I were stuck in the house. At first, it was fun - we played games, colored, made chocolate chip cookies, and watched movies. ..... But since my kids wake up at the crack of dawn, that only got us to about 10am. So I decided to bundle the kids up and go out and play with the snow (and try to get the first foot of snow shoveled to give me a headstart). If it were just Jack that would have been great - he had a blast playing in the snow and building snow castles. But Ellie, apparently, is not a fan of the cold weather. Because within 5 minutes of getting out there (after 20 minutes of getting dressed), she insisted that we must go back in. I managed to get her to stay out for maybe 15 minutes more, and then we had to retreat back into our cave, where I tried desperately to entertain what were fast transforming into little demons. Blessedly, mid-afternoon our neighbors dropped off early Christmas presents for the kids - craft kits that literally saved my sanity and got us through the afternoon.

Day 2 came, and I was ready to start scratching the days on my wall to track the passing time and remind myself of my own diminishing humanity. Again, mid-morning, I tried to get the kids to go out and play in the snow so I could shovel the driveway, but again, Ellie wasn't having it. It didn't even take 5 minutes this time before she was screaming to go in. In a fit of desperation I finally offered a neighbor girl money to watch Ellie inside so I could shovel enough snow so that one car could get out of the driveway (necessary since we had to pick up Jared at the airport later that day). With the help of 3 wonderful neighbors, I was able to shovel out one of our cars. And with the help of Sophia (neighbor girl, who wouldn't accept the money), Sinan (her brother, who soon joined us inside), and some sugar cookie dough, I was able to calm the savage beasts for a few more hours until Jared flew in.

All in all, we managed to survive without any bloodshed or major emotional scarring. But considering that I have one child who refuses to play in the snow, and my kids aren't old enough to enjoy a quiet day of reading or watching movies, well, we could do without the ol' snow days for a while.

You Want a What??

Today, Jack and Ellie got to go to a big holiday party at one of the local community centers. They had a great time - they got to decorate cookies, make popsicle stick Christmas trees, jump in the bouncy castles, and just have a great time. They also got to talk with Santa. And they both asked for .... a jack in the box. Huh? Have they ever even seen a jack in the box before? Where the heck did that come from? Do they even make those anymore?

What Not To Do

OK, ladies, as we get deeper into the holiday season, learn from me about what NOT to do when assigned to make appetizers for a hoity-toity church ladies' group get-together.

(1) Do not make an appetizer you have never made before.
(2) And for goodness sake, woman, do not make an appetizer you have never made before that must be served hot (and thus made immediately before someone is scheduled to pick it up).
(3) And please, show some brains, and do not make an appetizer you have never made before, that must be served hot, while wrangling your two preschool kids.
(4) And in the name of all that is good and holy, if you must ignore #1-3, for Pete's sake, have a backup cheese ball in the fridge for when your never-made-before bacon-wrapped water chestnuts will inevitably burn while you're not paying attention and smoke up your whole kitchen.

Because, really, it's just not fun to have to call Lead Hoity Toity and tell her you have no appetizer, only to be told oh-so-cheerfully that it's ok, she'll just pull some shrimp out of the fridge, since, of course, she was not raised in a barn by wolves and knows that a woman must always have a backup appetizer at the ready.

One of these days....

I'm going to buy myself three things. When you were a kid, was there ever "the toy" that you really, really wanted but never got? For me, there were three toys that I wanted for seemingly years (probably not, but it seemed like it), and my parents never got them. So one of these days, I'll get them - sure, they'll just sit and collect dust, but hey, it's the principle.

1: Snoopy Sno Cone Machine

2: Barbie Styling Head

#3: And of course, Easy Bake Oven

Magical Butts

If I had a nickel for every time someone told me I had a magical butt....but I digress. Here's Jack and Ellie's primer on Christmas:

(1) Jack: "Santa lands on the roof, and then he leaves Rudolph on the roof, Rudolph has a red nose, but sometimes he doesn't, but sometimes he does. And then Santa slides down the chimney on his butt, but it's a magical butt, so that's ok."

(2) Jack asked me what I wanted Santa to bring me for Christmas. I told him I just wanted to spend time with my family. "Well," he said, "Santa can't fit that into his bag so why don't we think about something better that will fit in his bag. How about a toy?"

(3) "Jack and Ellie," asks Mom, "what do you think Santa will bring you for Christmas?"
Jack: "a toy elf"
Ellie: "a baby doll"
(For the record, Santa is bringing neither a toy elf nor a baby doll. Guess Santa needs to improve his listening skills. Or perhaps the kids need to not change their stinkin' answer every day.)

(4) Grandma gave Jack and Ellie chocolate advent calendars, and told them to think about Grandma every time they opened a day. "Or," Jack suggested, "maybe we could think about Jesus?" Uh, ok, that too.

Come on, admit it

It's a little funny - ok, not politically correct, but you chuckled a little bit, I know you did

Recipe for Fun!

OK, here's how you make a really, really fun day:

(1) First, start off the day with a phone call from your husband, announcing that he'll be home a day late (and will be leaving a day early to go on his next trip). Now, that's fun.

(2) Then, when you go downstairs to get the kids' cereal, accidentally spill an entire box of macaroni all over the pantry. You know, so that you can ensure that you'll be finding macaroni for generations to come.

(3) Now, if you aren't having fun yet, here's what you do. You take 45 minutes to get your daughter dressed, because she throws a fit that you're making her wear clothes with "boy colors." Because apparently ANY color other than pink is a boy color.

(4) If you aren't having a laugh riot yet, have your TV service go out, and get the knee-slapping hilarity of waiting for 15 minutes for a rep to come on the phone, and then the minute she does, have your kids start screaming "poopy! poopy!" at the top of their lungs.

(5) If you're not LOL yet, then give your kids a bath, and while you're turned around, have them dump about a gallon of water on the floor.

(6) And finally, the piece de resistance, the cherry on the ice cream sundae of fun that your day has become ..... be on a diet. Now that's how I spell F-U-N.

Shout-Outs

A couple shout-outs:

(1) First, to the Firedrake ladies. One of our favorite things about our new house is our neighborhood, specifically, our street. Our little street has 14 townhomes on it - and 14 great sets of neighbors - including these gals. We just recently had a girls' night out, and had a great time. I haven't lived in a neighborhood where the neighbors have been so close (at least since childhood), so it's a great treat.


(2) Second, a shout-out to the South. Well, to a few things I recently saw/read that took place in the South. If you haven't read "The Help" yet, I recommend it highly. Great book. And if you haven't seen "The Great Debaters" and "The Blind Side," ditto - great movies.

Really? Is it made of gold?

So I needed to get Jack one more Christmas present. (You see, I have Jan Brady ignored-middle-daughter syndrome, so I am psychotic about ensuring that the kids get an equal amount of presents to open.) So he loves Scooby Doo, so I figured I'd get him this:

Which I certainly can, if I'm willing to pay ONE HUNDRED BUCKS for it (plus shipping). REALLY? Am I hopelessly out of it? Have action figures and plastic cars suddenly started costing this amount of money? Will the Mystery Machine do my taxes? Teach my kid French? Make me lose 10 lbs? If not, no thanks, I'll head on over to ebay.

Let it Snow!

We had our first snow of the season today. It was really pretty most of the day, but then, true to our weather patterns here, it turned to cold rain and everything turned to nasty, gray slush by the time it got dark. And sure, we only got like 3 inches, but I've got preschoolers, so they were just fine and dandy with that.

We started the morning by making a gingerbread house. You'd think that, even as craft-challenged that I am, I'd be able to successfully put together a gingerbread house kit with pre-cut pieces. But, um, no. I couldn't get the icing the right texture, and my house kept tipping over, and it was just so sad looking. But the kids didn't seem to notice. Then, after what seems like an hour to get snowpants and mittens and hats and coats and for Mom to take some tranquilizers, we finally made it outside, where the kids had a blast making snow angels and snowballs, making a snowman (a 2-foot one), and running and slipping in the snow. Heck, Jack even had a blast cleaning the snow off the car (I'll have to remember that in the future). About 45 minutes into the adventure, Ellie got cold, so we headed on in for some dry clothes and brownies, and enjoyed watching the snow from inside our warm, cozy house.

Jack gleefully cleaning off the car....

...until Ellie decided she was done with the cold.

The kids eating, I mean, decorating the gingerbread house

I submit to you - the saddest little gingerbread house in the world

Harold!

"Harold!"
"Harold!"
"Harold!"
"Hello, Harold!"

This is a typical dialogue between my kids these days. For no apparent reason, they like to suddenly scream out "Harold!" and then continue for the next 10 minutes or so to supposedly search in earnest for "Harold" - kind of a mind-numbingly painful version of a musical round.

Who is Harold, you ask? No clue. Any reason why they would be yelling to all who can hear "Harold"? Nope. They just like to do it. Go figure.

But hey, if you happen to see Harold, let me know.

Over the River and Through the Woods....

To Grandma's house we flew. And despite having to get to the airport at 4am and endure 3-hour layovers and 13-hour travel days with two preschool-aged terrorists, WE SURVIVED. I'm expecting my Purple Heart in the mail any day now. So, here's the breakdown:

#1: Airport play areas are a LIFESAVER. We had 3-hour layovers in Chicago each way. On the way out, their play area was closed, and thus we spent 3 hours chasing around our maniac kids who were like sorority guys on Red Bull. Fortunately, on the way back, the play area was open, which means that we all came out of the experience alive.

#2: The lights at Temple Square are mighty perty, but Lydia is just too dang wimpy for the cold. Plus, I dare not show pictures that have me in it, because someone let me walk out of the house in a coat that looked like a blown-up trash bag. Note to Jared: Baby Momma needs a new coat for Christmas. (left to right: Sister-inlaw Lindsey, Jared's brother Doug, Jared, the kiddies, Jared's mom and dad, and Jared's brother Dave)

#3: Cousins are cool. Jack and Ellie had a blast playing with their cousins. On top is Ellie with her cool cousin Jaycee, who was nice enough to play with Ellie almost the whole time we were there. Below are the kids with their cousin Scott. He and Jack were the perfect playmates.


#4: Grandparents are cool, too. Between baking with Grandma and games and horsey rides with Grandpa, the kids didn't have a minute to be bored.



#5: Ellie is a maniac. The kids actually did pretty well on 3 out of 4 legs of our trip. But on the flight from Chicago back to D.C., Ellie just went nutso. There was screaming, babbling, throwing things, hitting, kicking - it was like having a chimpanzee sitting next to me - I guess I should be grateful she didn't fling her poo at the fellow passengers.

#6: Settlers of Catan is really, really boring. Is it just me, or do all Mormons love that game? I really do not. "Does anyone have any ore? I'll trade ya for some brick!" Um, no thanks.

#7: I'm glad to be home. Visiting family is fun, but I like my bed, and my kitchen, and my Lydia Way of doing things. And when we picked up our dog from my parents' (Otis was having a big-boy sleepover with Grandmom and Granddad), I could just relax, let my kids run wild, and not even help with the dishes. Nothing like a little vacation after your vacation.