Just Remember

To all my friends with little babies and toddlers, who spend their lives in a sea of poop and pee and haven't gotten a good night sleep in, well, they can't remember how long, because they haven't had a good night sleep, just remember one thing....


They eventually make themselves useful.

Science is Hard

It is, it really is. Science is hard. It hurts my brain. I think my brain is just so chocked full of Brady Bunch facts and the plot to that latest book I'm reading (ignore the picture of the shirtless man on the cover, this is real literature, people) that there is JUST NO ROOM for science. Sorry, Science, no room at the inn, please move along.

If only.

But unfortunately, the pesky school still insists on sending science homework home with my kids, so I keep having to SEE SCIENCE STUFF. ALL THIS SCIENCE STUFF. And, if that weren't enough, then Ellie's grade had to do a bleepin' science fair. And of all the science disciplines they could have chosen, the topic was force and nature. In other words, PHYSICS. Really, I feel like I just cussed, saying that word. Really, it should be The Science That Shall Not Be Named. Physics bad. It really is just that simple. Physics bad.

But alas, despite my objections, they still held the science fair. So we fumbled our way through a physics-focused science fair project.

Actually, the project itself was kinda fun to put together - Ellie chose to build a hydraulic elevator, and it was really pretty easy and fun to build. And putting together the report and tri-board, yeah, pretty easy, too. But then we had to actually EXPLAIN the science. Which was a bit tricky, since my typical explanation of scientific concepts is either "it's magic" or "go ask your Dad" (or if he is out of town, "go ask Jack"). So we did all kinds o' research on Pascal's Law and hydraulics and I ate lots of chocolate and cried a bit and threw some stuff and there may have been some heavy drinking.

But finally - FINALLY - it was done. And Ellie presented it. And it was good. And it is done. And now my brain can recover, and flush out all this nasty "science stuff" so there's more brain space for calculating the next time I can have a snack.

Priorities, people, priorities.


Ellie's apartment

Hydraulics, baby, it's all about hydraulics

Baloo and Smurf got to ride the elevators

Makin' it work

I do have to admit, I do love me a tri-board display

There's our future scientist!

Jack for the Win

You know I had a hard time at Jack's recent spelling bee, cringing every time a kid got a word wrong. Well, apparently the Gods of the Bees (as in spelling bees, not bumble bees, and yes, they do exist, true story) heard my pleas because I was gifted with the OmniBee - "omni" meaning everything, because it was a bee with questions from 21 different content areas. But get this - the kids answered the questions all at once, using little clickers, and they had assigned numbers (not their names), so no one had to be embarrassed about getting the wrong answers.

Yes, I know, it probably doesn't bother these kids. But it bothers ME, people, and my delicate sensibilities. So these awesome embarrassment-saving clickers prevented a nervous breakdown on my part. Oh, and did I mention .....

Jack won! 24 kids placed in the competition, and Jack beat them all, baby. I am so proud of my little smartypants. They also let the parents play along, and not to brag about my performance in a middle school competition, but yeah, I'm fairly certain I'm smarter than a 6th grader. Yupper.

So, in summary:
(1) No kids were publicly humiliated
(2) Jack kicked butt
(3) I'm smarter than a 6th grader

Life is good, my friends, life is good.



All the 4th, 5th, and 6th graders came out to watch the bee


The participants sat in the first couple of rows with their magical clickers


There's our winner!

Let's Be Spanish

If there's one thing we've learned over here, it's this: the Spanish know how to throw a party. Many of the NATO country communities here host festivals or markets, but I'm telling you, believe me when I say that the Spanish know how to throw a party. So I was thrilled that we'd be able to squeeze in one more Spanish feria before we left for the states.

As usual, there was really yummy food, dancing, music, and sangria. And as usual, it was really crowded - we had to wait forever for our paella, but there was no way I was missing out on my paella, so damnit, we all waited in that endless line. And to their credit, the kids only tried to hit each other approximately 37 times, which is pretty good and probably a testament for their love of paella. And in the end, the wait was worth it, and we got our paella and had some fun.

Unfortunately, we won't be here for next year's feria, so we'll just have to do it on our own. I'll make up some paella and sangria, we'll have a party, and we'll all be Spanish.