Friday, July 15, 2016

Five Reasons That Jared Must Return Immediately:

5. This fan. It requires assembly. And the instructions CONFOUND me. You might as well drop a rocket ship on my front step and ask me to assemble it for all the success I'm having with this fan. I'm just going to have Jack and Ellie take turns standing in the corner and blowing on me until Jared comes back.

4. Yesterday, I sent an inappropriate amount of time gazing lovingly at the picture on the front of a box of Underarmour Boxer Briefs. For future reference, what is the appropriate amount of time that a married woman can gaze longingly at the picture on the front of a box of Underarmour Boxer Briefs?

3. Otis may not survive the shame of my haircuts for much longer. Really, it looks like I took a machete to this poor dog.

2. The ratio of real meals - to - "make yourself a bowl of cereal or something" is veering toward unacceptable levels.

1. Because we just plain miss him. Hurry Home, Lover!



Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Aye, Scotland

OK, I admit it, I love me a Scottish accent. And yeah, I admit it, after almost two years living overseas, I love me some English speakers. So I was extra excited for our trip to Edinburgh this past weekend. And I must say, I was not disappointed. We went on some fun tours, got to wander all around the city shops and restaurants, and got to hear a whole lot of really cool Scottish accents. And, I must add, the people were really, really nice. Or maybe they just sounded nice because of those cool accents. Well, perhaps, but either way, we're loving us some Edinburgh.



Hanging out at the Grassmarket, a cool little shopping and restaurant area. We had lunch there at an awesome little Mexican restaurant, and browsed through their Saturday morning farmers' market.

Standing at the Grassmarket, you can see the Edinburgh Castle. You can actually walk up a whole bunch of old stone stairs to get there, but the kids weren't up for the walk. I MAY have called them wussies. I can't recall for sure.

Every time I go to Starbucks, I get a kick out seeing how they interpret my name - I always try to say "Lydia" very clearly and slowly - and have yet to end up with "Lydia" written on my cup. I've had "Olivia"s, "Lila"s, "Lea"s, and "Linda"s - and of course, at the Edinburgh Starbucks, "Lilia."

OK, so I may have the sense of humor of a 10-year-old boy - but I did giggle every time we passed these signs and suggested to the kids that I thought the signs were missing an "I" from them. It's kind of sad when your kids think your sense of humor is immature.

I think this was Jack's favorite part of the trip - having lunch at the Elephant House. This is the coffee shop where JK Rowling sat and started writing "Harry Potter." There was a huge-ass line to get in, but it was totally worth it.

There's a tradition at the Elephant House to write on the bathroom walls - there was literally almost no space left, but we managed to squeeze a "Jack" in there. Of course it was in the women's bathroom, but hey, beggars can't be choosers.
Jack never did finish his sandwich, since he was too busy telling Harry Potter stories.

The only disappointment from our trip was that our chocolate tour was canceled. Fortunately, though, we were able to find an awesome bakery called Patisserie Valerie, where we gorged on, you guessed it, chocolate.

There's a street right up from the Grassmarket that looks just like Diagon Alley. It even has a cool little joke shop.

I'll have you know, we must have gone into 20 different kilt/plaid shops in search of a Russell plaid kilt. Unfortunately, we never did find one (although Ellie did manage to find a Russell plaid scarf), but Jack did find a cool kilt. He was so proud of it that he wore it the rest of the day. Aye, it's a manly kilt, too.

It rained through much of our tour along the Royal Mile (the long street that runs between the Edinburgh Castle and the Holyrood Palace. Ellie was very proud of her "turtle shell" (wherein she managed to weave her umbrella handle through her hoodie so she didn't have to hold the umbrella).

Along the Royal Mile there is a statue of David Hume, a philosopher. The tradition is that you're supposed to rub his toe, since the claim is that he had more intelligence in his big toe than the rest of us have in our whole bodies. Well, it couldn't hurt, right!

At the Edinburgh Castle

Jack's tradition - his McDonald's World Tour. It took us a while, wandering up and down the streets of Edinburgh, but we finally found this one in, of all places, a mall food court.

Jack would totally qualify for the Scotsman one

On our last night in Edinburgh, we went on a fun Ghost/Mystery tour. The kids especially loved the 'ghost' who would run around and jump out to scare us throughout the tour.

Friday, July 1, 2016

The Third Happiest Place

Do you want confirmation that Disneyworld Paris is the happiest place on Earth?
(1) My kids were happy the entire time
(2) My kids did not argue the entire time
(3) My kids did not whine the entire time
And...hold onto your hats, people
(4) My kids did not ask me to buy them anything.

Now, that's just a Disney Miracle, is what that is. So clearly Disneyworld Paris is the happiest place on Earth. OK, maybe third, after Florida and California, but definitely ahead of Tokyo. But definitely, definitely the third happiest place.


Arriving at the park

On Main Street, Home of the Overpriced Merchandise

Another Disney tradition - waiting in lines. Luckily, the weather was beautiful, so the waiting was fine.

The kids had a great time on all the rides. Our favorite was the Indiana Jones and the Temple of Peril rollercoaster, but it was a bit tricky to take photos while being thrown about on that one, so please enjoy this one instead.

Lunch, Star Wars-style. May I present to you the Dark Vader hamburger and the Yoda cupcake.

You of course can't skip the teacup ride

They had a lot of cool Toy Story things there

And Monster Inc.

We had a great time on the Buzz Lightyear ride.

We were halfway through the ride before Ellie realized she was actually supposed to be AIMING her gun. But hey, she had fun randomly shooting in the air, so I guess that's good.

This guy didn't stop smiling all day. Happiest place ever, my friends.