Take Me Out to the Ballgame

So we took the kids to a Frederick Keys game last night. The Frederick Keys is the minor league affiliate of the Baltimore Orioles. The games are a lot of fun to go to - less crazy than going to a major league game, and more of a small-town feel to it. Not to mention the yummy food. Which is kinda why I chose this PARTICULAR game to go to. Because, my friends, it was BRYAN VOLTAGGIO NIGHT. And the first 1,000 people got Bryan Voltaggio BOBBLE-HEADS, for Pete's sake! For those of you who know who Bryan Voltaggio is, go ahead and wallow in your overwhelming jealousy. Just don't let your tears of anguish drip onto my awesome Bryan Voltaggio Bobblehead. Heh. For those of who you don't know who Bryan Voltaggio is, well, I just don't think I want to talk to you anymore. But alas, I must... So he's a chef who was the runner-up in last year's "Top Chef" competition (he actually lost to his brother). He owns a super-fancy restaurant called Volt in Frederick, Maryland. He makes awesome food. And, well, he's kinda hot. (Not as hot as you, Jared. That goes without saying. Ahem.) So for this game, he threw out the first ball, and also hosted a concession stand with food from his restaurant. The menu looked awesome - everything from soft shell crab sandwiches to gazpacho "dipping dots." But unfortunately, the line for the concession stand literally spanned the entire length of the stadium. The ENTIRE length, throughout the ENTIRE game. I bravely stood in line for about 20 minutes, then gave up and went and got a sausage-and-pepper sandwich and some Italian ice from a different vendor. Still yummy. Not Bryan Voltaggio yummy. But still yummy.

#1 Jack and Ellie with their prized bobbleheads

#2 Watching the game

#3 My beloved bobblehead watches over me while I work

Coolout

We're thrilled that this week the temperature is only in the 90s - last week we suffered through 100s and that good ol' D.C. humidity. So at the end of the week, our street decided that we needed a "Coolout" (vs. a Cookout). Everyone pulled out their kiddie pools and sprinklers, we stocked coolers will plenty o' drinks, and let the kids play in the cool water to their hearts' content. Afterward, the "coolout" (cold sandwiches, pasta salads, fruit, and of course lots of popsicles and ice cream). The kids had a great time, and us adults actually managed to last a few hours before raising the white flag of heat exhaustion and retreating to the air conditioning.

(1) We pulled 6 kiddie pools out onto the sidewalks so that the kids could "pool hop" if they wanted to. We gave them water guns, which of course led to battles between the pools.

(2) Ellie tried to stake claim to one pool by herself, and would scream anytime someone tried to board her vessel. Luckily, her friend Safe didn't mind the screaming and climbed in anyway.

(3) Who knew Burberry made kids' bathing suits? Awesome! Probably more than my monthly mortgage, but still, awesome!

Pirates and Ponies

Well, summer means summer camps, and Jack and Ellie finished two this week. First, Jack got to be a scurvy dog of a pirate in his "Fight Like a Pirate" camp. Basically, it was a fencing class. They learned to attack, advance, retreat, and parry, but all the while they got to 'arghhh, matey' like a true pirate. Jack had a great time, and even came to enjoy his pirate name "Captain Shrug" (when asked his pirate name he, you guessed it, shrugged, so his teacher called him Captain Shrug - Jack was so tickled that each day when asked his pirate name, he simply shrugged). Ellie was too young for the camp, but she and Jack both got to go to Pony Pals camps, where they got to ride and learn how to care for ponies. Their ponies were named Nicky and Razzle. Not sure that either of them will end up being a great equestrian or fencing master, but hey, they had fun and it tired them out - works for me!

Let's Play the Quiet Game (Please!)

So, after a glorious 2-month hiatus from travel, Jared's back to his old tricks again and of course away on travel. Which leaves me with the kids. Don't get me wrong, they're awesome kids. But I gotta be honest - I just wish they wouldn't talk so STINKIN' MUCH. All day. Mommy, this, Mommmy, that, look at me, Mommy, I need this, Mommy, why aren't you watching my trick, Mommy. And to add insult to injury, they just won't talk NORMAL.

First, there's Jack's fake foreign language. Throughout the day, he enjoys sprinkling charming foreign phrases into his conversation. Except it's a fake foreign language. He'll ask me for a snack, and when I ask him what he'd like, he'll say, oh, how about a coolieputamaba. Or perhaps he'll come up to me and ask if I could help him find the tatasushima. And when I ask him to please tell me in English, he'll play the dumb American in Paris and start pantomining with hands. Really, how much is a mother supposed to take?

Is anyone old enough to remember the sitcom "Taxi"? Where Andy Kaufman played the character Latka? I don't know where the character was supposed to be from, but they had him periodically speak his "native language," which was a totally fake, made-up language. Well, this is pretty much how Jack sounds when he decides he's just bored with the whole English thing. Check out the clip around minute 3:00, and you'll get a glimpse of my conversations with Jack.


Then, if that's not enough, Ellie has gotten into the habit of pulling a "Brick" - anyone watch the sitcom "The Middle"? The youngest kid Brick whispers to himself. So he'll say, hey, Mom, I want a popsicle, and then whisper to himself, "popsicle." Well, Ellie does that. I gotta tell you, it's downright creepy. I tell you, between the nonsense language from Jack and the creepy Poltergeist thing from Ellie, I've just about had my fill of talking.

Check out this clip around 0:55 or so.

Take Two

You think our family picture in the last post was bad, that was by far the best in what is sadly typical of our attempts to capture our lovely family. Here is just a sampling of how it goes.

1. First, there's the distraction. Look, shiny things. Look, a squirrel. OK, no biggie, sunlight was bad in this shot anyway.


2. Then Ellie starts pulling out the big guns, including the "dead weight" ploy. OK, that's alright, it's not close up enough anyway.


3. Oh, you're going to play that game, huh, thinks Ellie. Better pull out the screaming. And then Jack - as a sign of solidarity - has to start with the fake Spanish talk that he likes to do. Lydia bribes, threatens, and begs, while Jared wishes he were watching the World Cup right now.


4. #*%&#*&%A#*%, ok, just snap a #*%&A#*% picture and let's be done with it. Are we all in frame? Fine. I'm done. Where's the #%*&% food.

Hangover

If you're a drinker, think about your last hangover - sure, you thought you were having lots o' fun drinking the night away - until you woke up the next morning with a marching band banging through your skull. Or, if you're not a drinker, think about the last time you took your kids somewhere - you had a blast, let them stay up late, oh, all was nice and dandy. 'Til they woke up the next morning (no later than normal, despite having gone to bed 3 hours later than normal) just chock full of the bratitude. Yeah, that's us today.

Yesterday, my family celebrated Independence Day down at Riverside, my parents' place. It was great catching up with 7 of my 9 siblings, assorted nieces and nephews, and a few old family friends. The kids had a blast swimming in the river. And of course there was our 4th of July tradition of Maryland blue crabs. Did I say mmmmm mmmmm good? No? Then I should have. Because they were mmmm mmmm good.

So by the time we rolled on home it was way late, but it was all good. That is, until the kids woke up this morning. And my head hasn't stopped pounding since. There was the fighting. And the whining. And the bickering. And some more whining. Then the singing of "Little Bunny Fufu" during church. And throw in a little more whining. I pretty much feel like sticking an ice pick through my eyeballs right now. But hey, at least in this case, the vacation was worth the vacation hangover.

1. Yeah, this was the best picture we could get

2. Ellie with GrandDad and her cousins Victoria and Rebecca

3. My nieces Stephanie, Elizabeth, Katherine, and Sarah chilling on the dock

4. Everyone loves taking rides on the Big Bertha - that's Helen, Craig, Robert, Jack, and Samuel

5. The grownups hung out in the shade

6. Jack's in hog heaven when he gets to hang out with his cousins

7. Although really, we should have known when Ellie started getting cranky that the next day would be a doozy

Fruits of Our Labor

Witness the beauty of Mother Earth's bounty, my friends. Isn't that an awesome-looking tomato? OK, so yeah, you're thinking, yeah, like the 87,000 tomatoes I've already grown in my garden, Ms. Amateur. Yeah, I know, but this is our FIRST tomato, from our FIRST tomato plant. And Jack and Ellie took care of it the whole time. So we're very proud of it, and Ellie has insisted on snacking on tomatoes every chance she gets.


Speaking of fruits of our labor, I signed Jack and Ellie up for a totally overpriced art class, and below you'll see the marvelous fruits of their labor. Yeah, those are cookie boxes covered in construction paper. So yeah, I paid like $150 per kid (plus supplies) for this class, and they're bringing home converted trash. I'm thinking we won't repeat this class.