Today's Three Things

(1) Now that I've talked Ellie out of needing a sports bra, she's now convinced she needs to do spa treatments. She keeps trying to convince me to buy her a face mask (you know, to combat all of her 6-year-old wrinkles and such). I didn't cave in on that, but I did let her use some of my cucumbers to soothe her weary 6-year-old eyes.

(2) Meanwhile, we're Lincoln Log crazy these days. And not just Jack, but Jared's gotten in on the act as well.

Lydia: "Guys, it's a beautiful day out, how about you go out and play frisbee?"
Jared: "But baby, we're building the best Lincoln Log house EVER!"
Lydia: "Well, can't you finish that later? Let's get some fresh sunshine!"
Jared: "Oh, you just don't understand how awesome this house is, baby!"

(3) This weekend, we got to have cousin Paige over for a sleepover. She and Ellie pretty much covered every possible sleepover activity (tea party? check; dance party? check; makeovers? check; Barbies/house/princesses/drive-Lydia-mad-with-your-endless-energy? check!) The next day, Jared did some mighty-fine Dad Duty and took the kids for a fun hike at Great Falls and some yummy ice cream at DQ.

Really?!?

Ellie can be a real girly-girl, so it's never surprising when she wants me to buy her makeup (I allow lip gloss and some clear sparkly powder stuff), fancy hair styles (which I suck at, so she gets what she gets), and accessories (which of course I find discarded all over the house). But yesterday's request threw me for a loop. Ellie wants me to buy her a SPORTS BRA. Really?!? Yes, really. She's 6, by the way. A bit tall for her age, but definitely not, ahem, 'advanced' or 'physically mature' in any way. Or to put it delicately, SHE HAS NO BOOBS. So someone please tell me - why does a girl need a sports bra if she's got no boobs? Isn't that the PURPOSE of a sports bra, to lock-and-load the boobs? And sure, some women wear it as their sole top when they work out or go running, but again, they're wearing it because THEY HAVE BOOBS. If they didn't, they'd simply wear a tank top to stay cool. Which is precisely what I suggested to Ellie when she insisted that she needed a sports bra 'for her workouts' - hey, how about a cute tank top? We could buy you a real cute, sporty tank top that would be perfect for your 6-year-old 'workouts'. But NOOOOOOOOOOO. She needs a sports bra. You know, to lock-and-load her .... nothing.

Well, so I figured out WHY she is demanding a sports bra. Her 7-year-old BFF across the street has one - I saw it just last night. She was wearing it under her outfit. And no, for the record, she does NOT have boobs. She's even shorter and tinier than Ellie. Nothing at all to lock-and-load. But clearly she's not the only one who feels like a flat-chested 7-year-old needs a sports bra, because clearly she was wearing a recently purchased one - that some manufacturer made. Which is ABSURD.

So now I'm at a stalemate with Ellie. Sure, the sports bra isn't expensive or anything.

But I just can't get over the fact that BRAS ARE FOR BOOBS. And SHE HAS NO BOOBS. So SHE DOESN'T NEED A BRA.

Hmmmpppffff.

I'm thinking I'll ill-prepared for what's ahead of me in raising a girl.

And the phrase of the day is....

Don't quit your day job

Take Your Kids to Work!

Well, it's not an 'official' take-your-kids-to-work day, but for Jared it is. He's about to take off for a whole bunch of work travel (gone a week, back two days, gone two weeks, back two days, gone another week), so we really wanted him to be able to spend a bit of time with the kids before he left. So he asked the kids what they wanted to do - swimming? ice skating? - and what they really wanted to do was ... go to his work at the Pentagon. Go figure! So off then went to Dad's work. I'm hoping they won't embarrass Jared or cause some kind of international incident. Fingers crossed!

And Your Little Dog, Too!

So, ok, we paid like 65 bucks for this fancy dog carrier that you strap to your bike - because, yes, we're the type of people who pay 65 bucks because we think we should take our dog with us on bike rides. And then we get it, and it doesn't work - the dog gets all freaked out in it, and it won't stay steady on the bike, and it just doesn't work. But we are the type of people who feel guilty that now our dog won't get to come on our bike ride (really, someone should step in and slap us around a bit), so Jared comes up with a nice, white trash solution. (Are we supposed to say white trash anymore? Probably not.) So he grabs one of the paper-and-plastic-bags-are-evil-so-we-bought-these-fabric-bag-bags out of the garage, and what do you know, the dog actually sits nicely inside the bag. So for five miles I rode around the neighborhood with a dog in a grocery bag. It really was quite uncomfortable as well - it hung right where my pedaling legs would go so I had to sit with my legs almost straight out at my sides. I'd say almost Indian-style, but really, I'm not doing well already with the whole white-trash things, so we'll just say straight out at my sides. Which was really not comfortable. And pretty much the whole neighborhood saw that I was carrying my dog around in a grocery bag. So really, it was a pretty good day for me, you know as far as that whole 'dignity' thing goes.

P.S. - on the upside, though, we played Life (the board game) with the kids last night, and I had a wonderful husband named Mike (he was a firefighter), a boy named Kyle, a girl named Madeline, I was a lawyer, we lived in a city penthouse, and I retired with a nice chunk of change in my bank account. So that just might make up for the whole dog-in-a-bag thing. You know, if it were real.

Namastay

One of the things I love about my kids is that they march to the beat of their own drummers. So far, they haven't really shown much interest in what the other kids like, they just like what they like. And what Ellie likes right now is yoga. She loves to look up exercise videos on YouTube (a hobby she did NOT get from me), and she recently discovered Cosmic Kids Yoga. So every chance she gets, she does it, and tries to enlist us to join her. Yesterday, she nabbed Jack. Me too, but luckily, I was the one with the camera, so you don't have to look at a picture of my big butt. You're welcome.

That's downward dog, right?

Not sure what that is, but yay for them.

There's one member of the family who could not be talked into yoga.

Namastay.

Toothless Jack

Jack has unfortunately inherited all the bad aspects of my and Jared's teeth, so we know he's got a long road of orthodontics ahead of him. So it wasn't a surprise when the dentist and orthodontist said that his mouth was too crowded and they would need to pull three of his baby teeth to make room for the big ones trying to come in.

We lucked out and one of the three fell out on its own before the appointment (saves me 40 bucks - thanks, Jack!), so only two of those buggers needed to come out. We decided to take the better-safe-than-sorry route and ordered the laughing gas - after all, with the years of appointments ahead of us, I didn't want to start things out with a kid traumatized by his first experience with lidocaine shots. Although Jack kept insisting that the laughing gas was NOT making him laugh and therefore it was a stupid name to call it, it did seem to relax him a bit, and we were tear- and fear-free for the duration. Of course, he wasn't too thrilled afterwards to find out that he had to eat soft foods the rest of the day, but hey, not too bad for our first time out. One down, only like, oh, 36 more to go!

And the Mother of the Year award goes to....

Just one more piece of evidence to really seal the deal on my Mother of the Year Award....

Bet none of your 6-year-old daughters got suspended from summer camp

Bet you didn't even know that a 6-year-old COULD get suspended from summer camp

Who knew, right?

But mine could - and did

Apparently they frown upon 6-year-olds teasing one of the camp counselors and calling him "Mister Butt Crack"

Who knew, right?

At least she used good manners in calling him MISTER

I mean, I did teach them SOME things

Just, you know, not how to not get suspended from summer camp

Hot and Sweaty Fun

So last week, we left the hot/muggy/90s weather in D.C. to head out to the hot/dry/100s weather in Utah. Jared's family had scheduled a family reunion, so we couldn't pass up the opportunity to see all of his brothers and all the kids' cousins. Despite the oppressive heat, we all had a blast - the kids especially had fun getting to know some of the cousins they hadn't seen in years. As we were leaving, Jack's 7-year-old cousin Ty yelled out - 'Don't worry, Jack, I'll Skype you soon! I'll email you my info!' It's scary when 7-year-olds are more technologically savvy than I am. 'Til next time, Sorensons!




I'd like to make a major announcement: my children (yes, MY children - Jack and Ellie) sat through three flights with NO fits. NO kicking the back of the seat in front of them. NO screaming. NO PROBLEMS WHATSOEVER. I just really don't know how to respond to this change. You know, other than to rejoice.

On our first day, we hiked to Timpanogas Cave - Jack and Ellie had a blast hiking with their cousins Scott and Dane

It was about 100 degrees on the hike, so we stopped in every cool place we could find along the way

When we made it to the top, we had to put on hoodies to go into the 40-degree caves

After the caves, we went to a nearby park area for a picnic - despite me telling the kids approximately 85 times not to go into the water, they, yup, went into the water - and apparently Grandpa was a co-conspirator

The cousins are soccer freaks, so there was plenty of soccer throughout the week - apparently tackling a player is legal in Sorenson Soccer Rules

The next day we needed a little break from the heat, so we checked out a new mall nearby

Uncle Doug and Aunt Lindsey hosted a dinner at their place - they're the 'cool' aunt and uncle - their yard is perfect for soccer, and they had set up a slip-and-slide, pool, and other fun kids' games

It was another hot day, so the water really did the trick

This is their wee babe - she's our favorite - sorry to all the other equally cute cousins, but come on, just look at that face

Did I mention they like playing soccer?

We started Independence Day with the local parade. There was a 5k beforehand - Jared ran in it, along with two brothers and a nephew. Should I mention that the nephew beat Jared? Probably not.

My kids weren't exactly thrilled to have their picture taken - can you tell?

OK, well, one out of two aint bad

There are our handsome runners!

Jared joined us after the run - quite sweaty, a bit smelly, but otherwise, none the worse for wear

A lot of the parade participants threw candy to the kids, so they were ready with their bags

After the parade, we went over to the city park for some lunch and carnival games - let's pretend that Jared won this game, shall we?

Later that night, we went to a rodeo. This was my and the kids' first rodeo - I have to say, not my favorite thing, but it was fun hanging out with the family. Plus, now I can say 'hey, this aint my first rodeo' with added credibility.

Friday was Lagoon - it's an amusement park and waterpark combo. Jack and Ellie had the plan all mapped out.

There's my sweetie-pie

After hitting a few of the kids' rides, we went to the waterpark for the morning. Sorry, no pictures since I was pretty much soaked the whole time there.

Bumper cars! And this time my kids actually knew what they were doing, unlike the last time when they basically kept running into the wall the whole time

Coming out of the scary tunnel ride

I kinda wish I was small enough to ride the helicopters

And the car, too

But looking back, I really could have skipped this one - I pretty much took a bath in this one and spent the rest of the day looking like a wet dog

The next water ride, I made the kids sit in front of me to act as human shields - yes, I really did sacrifice my kids to stay dry

Taking a quiet train ride around the animal park to close things out

Do you think Ellie enjoys going fast? Heaven help us when she learns to drive

We're baaackkk

From vacation - with 4 tired folks and about 80 pounds of dirty laundry

Yum

Jack says Yum

Ellie says Yum

Jack says Yum

Ellie says Yum

Jared says Yum

Lydia says Yum

(But save me one of those s'mores, too)