Guess who's back

...and bearing gifts. Even though Jared travels all the time, it's still exciting for us when he comes back home. Especially when he comes back with gifts. :-)

Dear Jared

Dear Jared,

You must hurry home. Lydia never waters us. We may shrivel up and die if you don't hurry home. Already, we're feeling just a bit thirsty. Can't imagine what another few days might do to us. Better hurry home.

Sincerely,
Your beloved flowers

P.S. - Don't even get us started on how dry your grass looks. I daresay the other neighbors' lawns might just look a little better.




[Yes, sweetie, I'm not above blackmail. Hurry home, or the flowers get it!]

What's Worse?

What's worse? That Ellie placed her iPad outside of the shower so she could watch a movie while showering?

Or that I let her do it.

Welcome to Monday in Lydia's World, where our motto is "let's just get through the day, people."

Hard at Work

Jared is always one to help out our neighbors. Whether it's to mow their lawns (sometimes with their permission) or to help them with home improvement projects, he's always the first one to jump in and help. So it was no surprise that he offered to help our neighbors paint their fence. And no surprise that Jack and Ellie then wanted to help paint. And no surprise that Ellie then got asked to leave about half-hour into the process after painting their lawn and their mom. And no surprise that I stayed safely away from the whole process. They were hard at work painting, and I was hard at work ... well, those Reese's eggs aren't going to eat themselves!

Bikes (Boo!) and Bikes (Yay!)

Saturday morning was beautiful outside, so we decided to help Ellie learn to ride a bike without training wheels. In the interest of full disclosure, I should note that she didn't ASK for us to help her. And she stated very clearly that she did not WANT to learn how to ride a bike without training wheels. But, well, well, I just have no explanation - we thought we'd try anyway. So Jared, Jack, and Ellie rode on over to a nearby commute lot while I walked the dog over. I couldn't have been more than 5 minutes behind them, but by the time I got there, Jared and Ellie were already yelling at each other. I tried to introduce some peaceful calm, but within about 5 minutes, I too was yelling. About 5 minutes after that, we threw in the towel and decided to go home. The lesson? Don't make your kid ride without training wheels before she's ready. At least not if your kid is my kid.

At the same time, Jack was frustrated with the new bike he had gotten for Christmas. You see, Santa felt he was ready for the bigger 24" bike. Mrs. Claus suggested that perhaps a 20" (his old one was 16") would be a better solution, but Santa felt like they could skip a size and just go to the bigger bike. But alas, the bigger bike was too big for our Jack. So it's gone untouched since Christmas. Then on Saturday, we saw Jack's buddy Noah (who is the same size as Jack) riding around in his new 20" bike, just as happy as you can be. And we thought, hey screw it, let's just get the poor kid another bike. So Jared and Jack made a deal where Jack would pay half the cost of the bike (he's very proud of his savings skills), and off they ran to the bike shop. They were actually closing up the shop when they go there, but in true Jared fashion, he managed to convince them to open it up for 5 minutes for him to purchase the bike. And home they came with a properly fitting bike - which Jack has happily ridden since then.

So we went from a Boo Bikes! Day to a Yay Bikes! Day. All's well that ends well, right?


Don't let the photo fool you - there were two VERY unhappy people in this picture - and one apparently impersonating the Unibomber

And we're lucky this is just a photo instead of a video, because if memory serves, Ellie was cursing Jared and all his ancestry at this point

Later, in an act of protest of being forced to ride without training wheels, Ellie painted the dog blue - if she had at least used Redskins colors, we might have forgiven her, but this was just too darn close to Cowboys colors for comfort

Thank goodness at least one kid was happy with his bike - look at that snazzy new bike!

Enough, Already

I think this is our last taekwondo belt. Last night Jack successfully tested for his green belt/blue stripe. He did a great job - especially on his awesome board braking - and moved ahead another belt. We're very proud of him and Ellie (who earned her green belt just the other day), but frankly, I'm a bit done with all the belt testing. The taekwondo place tests every two months, so in theory, a kid could advance SIX BELTS in just one year. So in theory, a little kindergartener could go from brand-new beginner to 'advanced' in one year, and then be a black belt before she even hits second grade. A bit too much for me. So, good job to Jack and Ellie, but come on, enough already!

Look at that form!

Go Jack!

Four Things

(1) Taekwondo belts are coming at us left and right, my friends. Ellie just earned her green belt last night. She was awesome of course (unbiased opinion), and looks super sassy in her new green belt. Good job, Ellie!

(2) While Ellie brought home a new belt, Jack brought home ticks. He and Jared went on a fun cub scout hike last night. We did a tick check last night on Jack and didn't find anything, but this morning found one on Jared and one on Jack's clothes (darn me for not throwing those things in the washer immediately). Now I'm paranoid and am washing every item of clothing, sheet, blanket, towel, or fabric scrap that those two woodsmen could have touched. Thanks for bringing home the nice treat, boys!

(3) An experiment gone wrong. So let's just say that Jared isn't as .... proactive ... about cleaning up after himself (or others) as I would like. So last night I attempted an experiment. Ellie and I were running out to her taekwondo test, and the boys were still at home before leaving for their hike. I thought I had done all the dinner dishes, but as I was running out, I noticed that Ellie's dinner plate was still on the table. Right next to Jared, who was still eating. Instead of running back and grabbing and washing the plate, I left it there to see if Jared would pick it up and wash it. I came home from taekwondo to discover .... it still there. So even though it pained me, I left it there. Went about our evening and bedtime prep (during which Jared passed by that plate probably a half-dozen times). Before bed, still there. Came down this morning (and did I mention Jared had gotten up at least once during the night for a midnight snack?), and it was still there. Got the kids off to carpool - still there. And then .... I caved in. I just COULD NOT let that nasty plate sit there ONE SECOND LONGER. So as Jared was heading off to work, I mentioned my failed experiment - and his response - "oh, yeah, didn't even notice that."

(4) On another sad note, I'm officially addicted. No, not to Diet Dr. Pepper - we already knew that. To Reese's peanut butter eggs. Yeah, we already knew that I really, really liked them. But I didn't know it had evolved into a full-scale addiction until Easter ended and they stopped carrying them in the stores. I actually thought that was a good thing - an easy way to wean me off them - so I didn't scramble around to the different stores trying to scoop up the last of them. That willpower lasted, oh, a couple of days, and then I started freaking out. So I went onto Amazon. And sure enough they sold them. So sure enough I ordered them. But then I got paranoid that they'd get delivered and sit on my porch and melt in the heat, so I signed up on Amazon to get a text notification of delivery. Sure enough I got the text while I was away from the house picking up the kids, so I sped on home. But still they were melty (I forgot about it being hot in the delivery truck), so I quickly put them in the fridge. When I got them out, they were kinda sorta weird after melting then being re-refrigerated. But of course that didn't stop me from eating them. Or from plotting my next order and how to avoid meltage during delivery. Yes, I have a problem. No, I don't really plan to do anything about it.

And that's it for today.

Ellie, preparing for her test by punching, kicking, and going through her forms

Jack, preparing for his hike by .... drawing cavemen

The kids getting ready for their test

Ellie broke all her boards on her first try - you go!

And won her sparring match - don't mess with her!

Go Ellie!

My failed experiment

Yes, I need help - but I don't want it

My handsome boys

Lazy

Back in the day, we used to have professional family and kid photos taken. And without fail, our kids through fits EVERY SINGLE TIME. And we'd spend the whole time sweating and begging the kids to just frickin' smile. Oh, and we'd spend a fortune doing it. So we finally threw in the towel. And now our fancy family photos consist of grabbing a brother or sister-inlaw at a family party and saying, 'hey, could you snap a quick photo of us?' Or for our holiday card photo, calling our neighbor and saying 'hey, are you home? could you run over and snap a quick photo of us?' Yes, we're lazy. Yes, our family and friends have far more creative family photos. But hey, I didn't have to yell at my kids even once during our 2-minute 'photo session' for this photo (which consisted of grabbing my sister-inlaw Robyn at Easter and saying, 'hey, before we eat, could you snap a quick photo of us?'). I'll vote for that option every time.

Dirt is Good

We had a beautiful weekend, so I took the kiddies down to my parents' place to play country hard. I've mentioned country hard. Country hard means dirt. And sweat. And lots of critters. And at the end of it, a shower and a tick check the minute you walk in the door. Country hard is good. And my kids loved it.

Right when we got down there, we took a nice long walk. The kids loved exploring, and per usual, I came back with a dozen or so rocks/shells/who-knows-what in my purse from Ellie. Luckily I convinced her that we did NOT need to bring home the fish skeleton they found. After our walk, we took a break for lunch, and then the kids were out and about again. Despite my multiple reminders of the rules when playing outside without grownups at Riverside (stay together, stay away from the water), of course every time I checked on them they were neither together nor away from the water. But I cut them some slack because hey, it's the country. And it's the first beautiful weekend we'd had in a long, long time. After lunch, the grownups joined them again outside, and we took another walk to go visit my parents' somewhat-creepy pet cemetery, where (so far, the day's still young) they've got two cats and a dog. Don't worry, they all lived nice, long lives, my parents have just had a lot of pets. After a quick check of one of their many beaver dams (those damn dams!), the kids wanted to play on the rocks and climb the cliffs near the water, so my mom and I chatted while they did that. Before long, the shoes came off and they were wading in the oh-so-freezing water while I kept a respectable distance. By around 4pm, my kids were actually asking to go home, not because they weren't having a good time, but because they were TIRED. COUNTRY TIRED, my friends. Isn't that awesome?



The dogs enjoyed the walk, too. Otis played country hard too, and even took a bit of a swim. And yes, a thorough bath was needed. And yes, our house still smells a bit like wet dog.

Many bugs and lizards and skeletons (yum!) were found along our walk.

My two buddies - well, three if you count the mutt - it was a Sorenson Family Miracle in that there were no fights the whole day

Visiting the pet cemetery - Jack wanted to know why Sam's headstone had "Harold" written on it. It's a long story. And a creepy one.

Then it was time to hit the beach - too cold to swim, of course, but Ellie and Jack enjoyed scrambling on the rocks, climbing the cliffs, and wading in the water - that's why I always bring extra clothes to the country!

I Remember Tired

Oh, I remember being tired. I mean really tired. Gals with infants KNOW tired, but the rest of us just REMEMBER tired. I remember being absolutely, totally exhausted, with a colicky (you think you know colicky? you don't know colicky) baby who cried so much they kicked him out of the hospital nursery, who slept an amazingly short amount of time for an infant, and only while I held him. And the husband who was deployed, and the breasts that ached like I had been breastfeeding an orangutan, and a yappy puppy who would start barking the minute I dared fall asleep.

Yes, I remember tired. But I have to admit, I haven't KNOWN tired in a long, long time. It sure is nice having kids who sleep through the night.

You know, except for the last two nights. When Ellie has been stuffed-up and unable to sleep except for in my bed (and did I mention she flails and kicks and flips during the night?). And when the dog has decided he needed to go outside 2 or 3 times each night (and for some reason is now afraid of his dog door). And when Jack has decided he is just too lonely to sleep by himself and must sleep in my room. And when Jared gets called away with 2 hours' notice to go on a trip.

Yes, today, I know tired.

And it is not good.

Hurry home, Jared. I need sleep.

A Little Anthropological Education

Jared took the kids to see "The Croods" the other day, and since then, Jack has been on a caveman kick. Pretty much every day he's been drawing cavemen, and asking me questions about cavemen. Since my only knowledge of cavemen comes from "The Flintstones" (did you know that cavemen had dinosaurs for pets? fun fact), my typical answer has been "uh, I don't know, let's ask Dad." Since Jared's parents didn't even bother to educate him with "The Flintstones" (really, how can they live with themselves), his typical answer has been "uh, I don't know, why don't you Google it." So pretty much, we've left Jack to his own devices - and here's what he has taught us about cavemen:

So there's a little education to start your day - you're welcome.

Give Me My Kids!

So yesterday the kids had off from school - teacher work day. I had signed the kids up for a day camp, but Ellie didn't want to go. But I had several telephone calls scheduled, and my kids have yet to figure out that when Mom is on the phone, you do NOT run into her office screaming "Jack/Ellie is hitting me/stole my toy/is a butt" at the top of your lungs. So I promised Ellie that if she didn't throw a fit about going to camp, I'd pick them up as soon as I got my meetings done - around 1:30. So she agreed.

So 1:30 comes around, and off I go to their camp to pick them up.
And see a sign on the door that reads "went on field trip! back at 2:30"
OK, fair enough, I didn't know they were doing a field trip, but that sounds good. So I go back home and get a bit more work done.
2:30, I'm back there, but no kids. Hmmm. Alright, well, I hadn't gotten my work done anyway, so I'll go back and get it done.
3:00, I'm back there, no kids. Now I'm just getting cranky. Come on people, I need my kids, please.
3:30, I go back yet again. Still no kids. I'm about 10 seconds away from throwing the hissy fit of all hissy fits and driving up and down the highways screaming "give me my kids!" when I see one of the camp helpers - and she tells me that they're a half-hour away.
4:00, I finally get my kids back. And Ellie says "Mom, I thought you were going to pick us up early! Liar!"

And for some reason I was rushing to get them back?

Hmmmmm

Happy Easter!

Well, the Easter Bunny has come and gone at our house.



I actually haven't seen the Easter Bunny to see if he indeed has a green afro, but we're going with it. So we had a pretty laid-back Easter weekend - we started off by dying Easter eggs. True to form, Meticulous Jack deliberately and precisely dipped his eggs to achieve the perfect color ("Mom, is that pastel-enough? It has to be a pastel color for Easter"). And yes, true to form, Ellie just dunked hers all over the damn place, and made some look like dinosaur eggs, some look like "poop eggs" (yes, very nice), and some, well, I just don't know - by this time, she was laughing hysterically, so she could have been aiming for just about anything.

Bright and early at 6am on Easter morning, Jack woke up, then woke up Ellie to come see what the Easter Bunny left them. Ellie wasn't too thrilled about being woken up, but eventually got into the spirit of things. Then it was off to church, after which we went to my brother and sister-inlaw's for dinner. They host Easter dinner every year, and it's always quite lovely. We had lots of yummy food, and then set up the Easter egg hunt for the kids. Unfortunately, it was too wet outside, so we had to set it up in the basement. And so there were 10 kids between the ages of 12 and 3 knocking each other over to get eggs in a very Lord of the Flies-like scenario. Unfortunately for my kids, they simply do not have the killer instinct that their cousins have, and despite the fact that there a crazy amount of eggs, they ended up with only a handful in their baskets. That caused a bit of mopiness at first (some on my part - "sheesh, Peter, your kids are just ANIMALS!" - said the not-at-all-overprotective-Lydia), but things started settling down once some chocolate was ingested.

By the time the evening was done, we were pretty beat, but pretty happy with our Easter. Thanks, Easter Bunny!


Decorating Easter eggs - before Ellie's 'poop eggs' came into play

Jack was the first to reach the Easter baskets. He scoped out the scene, then went and woke up Ellie.

Ellie was still half-asleep, so I'm not sure she quite understood what was in her basket.

Getting ready for the Easter egg hunt - don't let all the cute faces fool you - those cousins are Easter Hunt BEASTS

Happy Easter!