Today's Bucket of Rants and Raves

So here's my random bucket today-

My Rant for Today
Helicopter Moms: So we live in a GREAT neighborhood, and have fantastic neighbors. And almost every afternoon/evening, the kids play out in the street and the moms sit around and chat. But I'm becoming increasingly frustrated with having to constantly hover (in my opinion) over the kids' interactions to make sure everyone's being nice to each other. Just last night, I had to jump in when Jack smacked his friend, and then again when Jack refused to share a cardboard box he was playing with, and then again when Ellie was arguing with her friend. Here's the thing - I think I should have just let them work things out with their friends - they were all "evenly matched" (same age, same size, etc.), no one was getting seriously hurt (the kid Jack smacked had smacked Jack just a few minutes before, and they both played together the whole evening). Don't get me wrong, I think that if someone is unevenly matched, or someone is bullying, or seriously hurting or threatening someone, you jump in. And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying these behaviors are correct (Jack shouldn't smack someone regardless of what they do). But I think that we jump in so quickly that they never LEARN the right way to react themselves, because we're always fixing everything for them. So why do I keep jumping in then? Because if I don't, the other mothers will, and I'd rather me fuss at my kids then someone else fuss at them. Just yesterday, I brought up in casual conversation with them that I think that we should hang back and let the kids resolve more conflicts by themselves, and they all nodded, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then went right back to the regular approach. So maybe I'm the wrong one. But it still bugs me.

My Raves For Today
But luckily, lots of things are making me happy today:

My Summer Bucket List - Since we won't be able to take a 'real' vacation this summer due to Jared's work schedule, I wrote up a big Summer Bucket List of things that I wanted the family to do this summer - it includes things like going tubing (done!) and paddle boating, to a local waterpark and amusement park, taking the kids to a drive-in movie, etc. Fun, fairly inexpensive, local things. And I'm having fun planning out how to mark each thing off my Bucket List. Yes, I'm a bit anal about it. But let me have my little pleasures, people.

Chocolate peanut butter ice cream - you know it's approaching (ahem) 'that time of the month' when your cravings start turning into obsessions. Right now, I'm obsessed with getting myself some chocolate peanut butter ice cream. It's pretty much my primary focus right now, and it'll be a miracle if I last until this afternoon before running out the store to get some.

Kids and the swimming pool - The kids have been getting over to the swimming pool almost every day, either with us or with our babysitter Lauren. And to me, there's just something about a kid after being at the swimming pool - the smell of chlorine, the sun-kissed face, the blessed exhaustion - it's downright awesome.

Go Pete - So my brother Pete's campaign (for Gainesville supervisor - Go Pete!) is coming along swimmingly, and we got to go to a Family Fun Night that he sponsored the other night. He and his family are working really hard and are really dedicated to making this happen, and we're really proud of him.

Not that I can think much about that until I get my hands on some chocolate peanut butter ice cream, though.


The kids having fun at Pete's Family Fun Night

Go Pete!

Geeks in Training

Does it make me a geek if my idea of a fun day is to browse through a bookstore, then sit down with my purchases in the cafe and drink a hot cocoa and munch on a blueberry scone? Well, if it does, then I've got two little geeks in training. My kids know of my love/obsession with books, and so I guess it's no surprise that the other day, when I asked them how they wanted to blow a few hours on a Saturday afternoon, they said they wanted to go to a bookstore, buy a new book, and read it while sipping hot chocolate in the cafe. People, it did my heart proud. So off we skedaddled to the local bookstore - we browsed around and read some of the kids books while we were browsing, then Jack picked out a Smurf book and Ellie picked out a princess book. (This took a lot of our browsing time, as Ellie insisted that we find the "most sparkly book in the store.") I picked out a book of my own (I am only human, people, we're luckily I didn't buy 10) and adjourned over to the cafe where we ordered a hot chocolate and cookie to share. Then we sat, sipping our hot chocolate and reading about Smurfs and princesses. Ahhhhhh, Geek Heaven.......

To Lydia's Mom, with love

TATTOOS!!!!! TATTOOS!!!!! TATTOOS!!!!!!

Look at all that ink, Mom - she's practically COVERED in it

Those are only temporary tattoos, but it's a slippery slope - next thing you know, they'll be getting permanent ones

Then it's just a hop, skip, and a jump to them becoming promiscuous, using drugs, and voting Democrat

But don't worry, Mom, I'll make sure that one of their tattoos says "I Heart Grandmom"

Down the Lazy River

Heathen Alert, Heathen Alert:
Today we played hooky from church. This weekend the kids were particularly "active," and the thought of wrestling with them for 2 hours just wasn't working for me. So we decided to knock off something from our Summer Bucket List - go tubing down the Shenandoah. So off we went to Watermelon Park, a cute little campsite about a half-hour from our house that also has canoeing, kayaking, and tubing. And it was AWESOME for so many reasons:
(1) we all had a blast
(2) the kids were actually WELL-BEHAVED (alert the press)
(3) the weather was beautiful
(4) although I had to be seen in a bathing suit for about 5 minutes getting into the water and 5 minutes on the way out, for the rest of the time my big ol' booty was hidden comfortably within the inner-tube - although I was worried that the blinding light from my big ol' thighs would attract vultures thinking it was roadkill

We took the windy roads home, driving through quaint little towns like Berryville, Middleburg, and Upperville - we saw lots of horses and cows and corn, and happened upon an old-fashioned mill that was giving demonstrations. One fun tour, 3 slurpies, and 1 Diet Dr. Pepper later, we were back home and chillin' out from our lazy ride down the river.


Our fearless navigator

What's a lazy ride without some snackage - so we had lots of apples, Oreos, and sammiches with us

Jared bought some nasty Orange Cream soda - he liked that it tastes likes those orange creamsicles - which wasn't a selling point for me

Look closely - is Ellie looking a bit shifty-eyed there? Because about 30 seconds after this photo was snapped....

She hurled herself over the side of the tube, and started screaming "I'm dwownin' in the Shenandoah Wiva!" while laughing maniacally - for a while, Jared clutched on to her, but she was enjoying herself so much we just let her swim along

Before too long, Jack joined her and they swam around the tubes like crazed little guppies

On the way home, we stopped and got a cool demonstration on how a mill works - here a miller is showing us how they grind corn - I mean it, it really was interesting - normally I'd want to gouge my eyes out about 10 minutes into an historical lecture, but this was pretty fun

You never know

Jared and I feel like we should teach our kids some basic life skills - like cooking, and swimming, and telling time, and counting money, and .... picking locks. Because you know, you just never know when that might come in handy. So we want to feel confident that we will send our children into the world with strong character, self-sufficiency, and some mad-crazy lock-picking skills.


Welcome to Jared's School of Lock-Picking

Jack and Ellie were both able to then pick the lock of their savings banks - we make come to regret teaching them that

Next week's topic? The importance of an airtight alibi

My Little Couch Spuds

My kids are starting to develop couch potato tendencies - and I couldn't be more proud.

OK, I know that sounds horrible - we should be discouraging couch potato tendencies. But you gotta understand my kids - up until a couple of months ago, they would not chill out. They would not veg out. They were constantly, constantly moving, and they were constantly, constantly requiring me and Jared to entertain them. But then Ellie discovered the iPad....ah, sweet relief. Then the Wii (which we've actually had for 2 years but they just started playing a couple months ago). And of course, the good ol' boob tube. And now, for a blessed half-hour now and then, I can tell my kids to just chill out, and they'll actually entertain themselves on one of their electronic babysitters. Don't worry, don't worry, they still spend the majority of their time outside, playing, running, jumping, biking, and making a mess. But now, ahhhh, now, I can actually go to the bathroom BY MYSELF without the little ones tagging along. So veg away, my little couch spuds!



Ellie's our Wii freak - but better steer clear of her while she's playing, because if she loses, she will most definitely blame you.


Jack's still more of an old-school TV watcher. He'll play Wii or iPad for a little while, but give him a blanket and an episode of "Scooby Doo" or "Phineas and Ferb" and he's in heaven.

Father's Day Three

Happy Father's Day to the three fathers in my life-

To my dad, who
(1) can fix a car, build a shelf, or make a gourmet meal - and never forgets the food coloring to give his gravy that extra-special nuclear glow
(2) has proven over the years that he can rock a leather jacket, a polyester sport coat, flowery ties, and high-top Chucks
(3) has a movie and book collection that I look forward to getting once he croaks (did I say that out loud? I meant to think it, but I think I said it out loud)

To Jared's dad, who
(1) will play horsey, Old Maid, or Candyland with an endless amount of patience
(2) calls potatoes "spuds" and rice "swamp grass," can name every tree he passes, and has taught the kids a love for the cowboy world - if you ever want to know the difference between a bull and a steer, and don't mind a little colorful language, just ask Jack
(3) is always ready to serve as Super Grandpa, even jumping on a plane to come watch the kids when things get too crazy around here (although, in the interest of full disclosure, Ellie says that Grandpa isn't good at doing girls' hair)

And to my Sweet Baby Daddy, who
(1) gives the best shoulder rides around, and is always ready to run, jump, and play with the kids
(2) has an amazingly diverse vocabulary when it comes to private parts, a talent he has been more than happy to pass on to our children
(3) is just plain H-O-T, which probably isn't related to his skills as a dad, but may relate to how he became a dad (did I say that out loud? I meant to just think that, but I think I said it out loud)

Happy Father's Day to My Three Dads!

My dad, who even at 13 was a bad-ass

Jared's dad, giving some early riding lessons to the kiddos

And Baby Daddy, who is never too proud to put on whatever goofy Halloween costume I foist upon him - but admit it - you wish your man could rock some long hair like that

Dad-ercise

Introducing Dad-exercise, with Jared and Ellie

First you start with some chest presses

Then you add some curls

Then you finish up with some push-ups

Repeat, until you pass your Army PT test - or until Ellie gets too big or Jared gets too old to continue

His Own Drummer

So Jack "graduated" from kindergarten yesterday, and Jared and I went to his graduation ceremony. It really was quite sweet - Jack was so excited that (as a surprise) Jared was able to take off work early to come to it, and all the parents were great about clapping for each and every kid as they got their awards. And yes, as much as I gripe about the fact that kids get awards and medals and trophies for EVERYTHING these days, the kids sure got excited to get their "Super Citizen," "Handy Helper," or "Fabulous Friend" award. And they also sang cute songs, complete with sign language accompaniment. Well, all the kids, that is, except for Jack. Our Jack apparently decided to march to the beat of his own drummer, and did his own thing during the performance.

While the other kids sang, Jack nibbled on his fingernails....

....and made faces at his neighbors...

....and laughed at Mom when she tried to gesture to him to participate...

Oh, but wait! There's some choreography - of course, it was the WRONG choreography, but hey....

So he went back to chewing on his little red box...

...and checking out the ol' belly button lint....

...and then, well, he just sat down. Apparently he was done. I spent the whole time gesturing at him wildly to participate in the motions. But Jared just sat back with a big ol' grin on his face and said "That's my boy!"


P.S. - One of the songs they sang was "I wish I had a little red box to put my mommy in; I'd take her out and go kiss-kiss-kiss and then put her back again" - am I the only one troubled by those lyrics?

Meanwhile....

Meanwhile, while I've been here, just here, hanging out, with the kids, in my house, that's my life, same ol' same ol', every day, Jared was doing this:


Yup, Jared just visited Egypt, his 30-something-th latest country (and 6th continent). That's just slightly higher than my number of countries visited - a whopping 2. Not quite sure I'll catch up at this rate.

Even though he was there for work, he had some time to pick up a few pyramids

ride a few camels and donkeys - that's his friend Doug (the man, not the donkey)

and even check out the Sphinx

Jared also brought along Flat Jack and Flat Ellie - here they're enjoying the view of the Nile outside of Jared's hotel

Flat Jack and Flat Ellie even got to check out the camels

Our little bedouins - if I weren't so lazy, I'd look up what those hat thingies are called - Jared also brought home some papyrus (papyri?) with their names written in hieroglyphics. Or so claimed the guys who sold them to him for a princely sum.

My husband went to Egypt, and all I got was this lousy papyrus. OK, it wasn't lousy, it's actually kinda cool and will add to my Nativity collection. But still, I kinda would have preferred to the trip to Egypt. That's just me.

Go Jan Brady!

Remember Jan Brady from the Brady Bunch? If not, get thee to a Netflix and watch it, people, for everyone knows that Brady Bunch has all the answers to your life's problems. But, if for some reason, you were raised in a cave and haven't watched it, Jan was the middle girl, the one who constantly suffered the 'middle child' woes, stuck between a popular older sister and cute little sister. So, in MY family, I was Jan Brady. Stuck between the cute older and younger sisters, constantly in a melodramatic snit about being ignored. Sure, there's some truth to that (I'll save the horror stories for my tell-all book), but I have typically blamed that on the big-family-syndrome - with 10 kids, it's hard to pay attention to all of them beyond "they're fed, they're clothed, they're not in prison." So it was quite the surprise (and shame) for me when I realized that my one daughter (of only two children) was already falling victim to Jan Brady-itis. Fewer pictures of her, fewer trendy classes to go to, and just not as much drama or worry over her everyday problems. That's actually a good thing - we learned from the first one, right? But I'm not dumb enough to believe she'll see it that way when she reaches her woe-is-me-teenage-years. So I've been trying hard to make sure that I pay as big a deal to all her stuff as I did for Jack at her age.

And thus....What Ellie has been up to lately:

Being a dancing diva - this week, she is going to dance camp at a local rec center. This one's ballet and tap, and later in the summer she'll take a hip hop one (or as she calls it, her booty-shaking class). She loves to dance - and the cute outfits don't hurt either.


She's totally rocking her bike. When this photo was taken in the winter, she barely trudged along on her tricycle. Now she's zipping around on her cool purple bike.

She "graduated" from her first year of preschool. Here, her class is impressing all the parents with their mighty ABC skills.

Afterwards, they got to have an ice cream party.

And Ellie (and Jack) held their "Big Show" for their gymnastics class.



And she's all about the water - she's doing great in her swim class, and is trying to get soaked every chance she gets. The other day the water company was 'flushing' all of the fire hydrants, so a bunch of the kids got to play in the sprays. BTW, I don't know who that lady is in the picture, but she frightens me. Ellie knows it, too - just look at her, she's totally on to her, keeping an eye on her, ready to pounce into action if needed. That Ellie, she's savvy that way.

Pets and Pete

(1) We've got two pets - our dog Otis and our fish Bingo - but really, only Otis counts, because let's face it, what the heck does a fish do. Why DO people get fish anyway? We inherited ours (we fish-sat, to find out at the end of our gig that the owner had toilet-flushing plans for poor Bingo), but really, I don't see the appeal otherwise. Dogs, I can see. Because although Otis is EXTREMELY annoying in many ways (he escapes out the front door any chance he can get, he costs us a fortune in vet and grooming costs, and he somehow knows to bark every time I'm on a super-important work telecon), there's also nothing like coming home to someone who is so excited to see you that he literally can't control himself. Wouldn't it be awesome if your husband acted that way every time you walked in the door? OK, that would be weird, what with the jumping and the whining and what-not - but you get my point. That part of pet-hood is pretty awesome.


Every day while I work, Otis curls up at the foot of my chair - or, if he wants to be particularly annoying, ON my chair, leaving me to squeeze into the front third of it.

Even though he has a designated spot in the car, Otis prefers to curl up on Jack's lap


(2) Speaking of pets, how about a few pet peeves. Here are the things that have been bothering me this week....(a) Really old kids being pushed in strollers. We don't even own a stroller anymore - what the heck is a 6- or 7-year-old doing in a stroller for crap's sake? (b) Cell phones. Yes, I have one (two, actually). And yes, I would feel naked without one in my purse. But I HATE talking on them, and it annoys me that everywhere I go, people are glued to them. How important are these peoples' lives that they have to be in constant communication? (c) Tipping the hotel maid. I know, I know, they make very little money. But I clean up after myself at a hotel, so I don't need them to clean while I'm there, and cleaning up in preparation for the next guest is just, well, their job. Yes, before you yell at me, I always leave a tip, because I don't want to be a jerk, but it just irks me to have to leave $5+ a day for them to put triangles in my toilet paper.

(3) And speaking of petes - work with me, they sound the same, pets, pete, get it, my brother Pete is running for supervisor in his city of Gainesville, Virginia. We went to his campaign kickoff the other day, and it was awesome. As much as I hate to admit it as his annoying older sister (did I just admit I'm older? scratch that, I'm definitely younger than him), he is a really sharp guy, dedicated, and very enthusiastic about making a difference. So anyone who lives around those parts, Vote for Pete! Go Pete!
http://petercandland.com